I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
