Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
