We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
