Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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