It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
