He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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