I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
