Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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