Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
