What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
