i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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