It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
