...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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