Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
