What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
