I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize