I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize