I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
