you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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