The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
