Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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