I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
