I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
