he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
