if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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