I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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