And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
