is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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