Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
