they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
