What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
