Where did you get a picture of my penis
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize