Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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