No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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