Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
