it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
