somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
