I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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