Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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