Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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