my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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