Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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