why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Enjoy the penises
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
