but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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