im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
