I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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