Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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