i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
