Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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(541): View more from Oregon

so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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(661): View more from California

May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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(325): View more from Texas

suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

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(416): View more from Toronto

Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.

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