that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .