I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way