My boss' voice literally gives me gas
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
