tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.