Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
