why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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