successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
