AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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