Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
