Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
