i don't like sucking hair
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize