here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
