if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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