areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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