At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
