she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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