i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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