Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
